Showing posts with label gambling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gambling. Show all posts

Monday, May 20, 2019

Distant Early Warning



One of the first lessons most self-supporting labor class adults learn in life is the importance of vigilantly cleaning up after oneself; after all, once you're out on your own in the world, nobody is going to do it for you. For most of us, the apathy, inattentiveness and delay of today, will invariably come back to bite us in the backside tomorrow - and I'm as much a prisoner of this reality as anyone else who actually works for a living. Thus after procrastinating for the first three weeks of May, I finally paid the piper and spent most of this past weekend doing a little housekeeping; both in a very literal sense, and in terms of getting some long-brewing observations and criticisms off my chest over on my Patreon blog. During that time, I also wrapped up my six part look at Matt Taibbi's 2010 anti-Wall Street masterpiece "Griftopia: A Story of Bankers, Politicians, and the Most Audacious Power Grab in American History“ - you can find that article (and links to the previous five installments) here.

I mention this now because throughout all of my writing about Griftopia, I've consciously attempted to highlight what I feel is the enduring takeaway from the book: the persistent culture of overt criminality in the global financial industry and the complicity of bought-and-paid-for gate guardians who continue to enable that criminality. Although it is not commonly understood, the truth is that  decades of deregulation, state-subsidized conglomeration and the absolute dominance of American financial institutions have turned the entire global economy into a sort of ponzi scheme - a rigged game where market profits are privatized, while the losses are passed on to the people in a system that serves to funnel untold trillions of dollars from public coffers directly into the pockets of elite investors and banking institutions. Once you understand this you start to see the 2008 financial crisis for what it truly was; not a "thousand year flood" but rather a predictable (and reoccurring) side effect of allowing largely unaccountable mega-banks to gamble freely with other people's money

In other words - it's not really a question of "if" there will be another financial crisis, by rather a question of when the bubble is going to pop and precisely who will be holding the bag when it comes time to pay off Wall Street's gambling debts. That's why stories like this May 15, 2019 piece by Pam and Russ Martens over at Wall Street on Parade should gravely concern you:


JPMorgan Chase Owns $2.2 Trillion in Stock Derivatives; Two-Thirds the Total for All Banks



I'm sorry; did I accidentally say this article should merely concern you? As it turns out, that was a grossly negligent understatement - what I meant is that this article should scare the living sh*t out of you. Unfortunately because it's written by financial industry observers for an audience of banking scandal junkies who're extremely plugged into "the Street" it may not be readily apparent to the casual observer why all of this is extremely bad. Let's look at some individual quotes from the article which I'll try to place in context, before looking to sum up the situation in layman's terms at the end:

"According to the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC), the regulator of national banks, as of December 31, 2018 JPMorgan Chase Bank NA (the Federally-insured bank backstopped by U.S. taxpayers) held $2,212,311,000,000 ($2.2 trillion) in equity derivatives. Equity is another name for stock. The OCC also reported that all commercial banks in the U.S. held a total of $3.374 trillion in equity derivatives at the end of last year, meaning that for some very strange reason, JPMorgan Chase holds a 65.5 percent market share of bank trading in this derivatives market.
Those trillion dollar figures are notional amounts, meaning the face value. The OCC defines “notional” like this: “The notional amount of a derivative contract is a reference amount that determines contractual payments, but it is generally not an amount at risk. The credit risk in a derivative contract is a function of a number of variables, such as whether counterparties exchange notional principal, the volatility of the underlying market factors…, the maturity and liquidity of the contract, and the creditworthiness of the counterparty.”

Translation: one of the largest banks on the planet has 2.2 trillion dollars worth of potentially sketchy stock derivatives parked in its regular banking portfolio; effectively meaning JPMorgan Chase is gambling with a metric f*ck ton of money that's insured by the U.S. government. This is not an auspicious start, but onward we go:

"According to the OCC report, JPMorgan Chase lost $644 million on its equity positions in the fourth quarter of 2018. We don’t yet know what happened in the first quarter of this year because the OCC has not yet released its report.

Not only is JPMorgan Chase Bank NA engaging in risky stock derivative trades, but according to the OCC just 31 percent of these trades are centrally cleared. The other 69 percent are what are called over-the-counter or OTC derivative trades, meaning they are “bilateral,” or secret contracts between JPMorgan Chase and a counterparty with little daylight available to Federal regulators. That also would suggest that they are highly illiquid."

Here we discover three things; the massively overexposed bank is in fact already losing a significant amount of money on these risky wagers, the majority of these trades are being conducted with zero regulatory oversight and there's good reason to believe the underlying stock derivatives themselves are junk. This is all starting to feel a little familiar:

"At this point, we should pause for a moment to explain what a “derivative” actually is. The OCC defines it this way: “A financial contract in which the value is derived from the performance of underlying market factors, such as interest rates, currency exchange rates, commodity, credit, and equity prices.”

Another definition of a derivative might be this: a type of trade where Wall Street mega banks, with far superior market knowledge from trillions of bits of internal trading data, can sell sh**t packaged as a solid investment to the dumb tourists who manage public pensions, municipal funds, and school district bond issuance, to name just a few. We apologize for the pejorative “dumb tourist,” but compared to the Ph.D. computer geeks, artificial intelligence software, and algorithmic trading that dominate Wall Street trading floors, we’re all dumb tourists. (See JPMorgan Employs 30,000 Programmers.)"

Yeap, the derivatives are dogsh*t and to make matters worse, these risky bets are almost certainly being pushed on small time institutional investors who represent cities, towns, school districts and working class retirees or hopeful retirees. If this isn't at least starting to give you a sense of déjà vu, you certainly haven't been clicking on the links as we go.

As bad as all of that is however, we're still looking at a situation which is merely alarming, predatory and immoral. Sure, JPMorgan Chase has accepted $2.2 trillion worth of obfuscated, unregulated and absurdly complex wagers on volatile stock markets through a bank that's backed up by public funds. Yes, the bank has packaged those bets into an undesirable investment vehicle to theoretically offset a potential loss. Yes, these risky derivatives are crappy and yes, it's objectively sh*tty that Jamie Dimon is pawning them off on complicit yokel government administrators and pension fund managers whose clients likely believe their investments are much safer than they are. So far, that's a pretty sad story for working class retirees but it hardly rates as "iceberg ahead" for the global economy. For things to get really out of hand here, the bigwigs at JPMorgan Chase would have to be making uniquely awful, insanely risky bets that are going to explode long before they can pass the risk on to children and the elderly. What are the odds of that eerily familiar situation coming up again this time? Let's turn back to the article and find out.     

At this point in the piece, the authors go into a thorough discussion about the 2012 "London Whale scandal" which is certainly worth reading in its own right. This is however a recap, not a reprint so I'll just sum up the important things you need to know here: several years after the financial crisis, this exact same bank, with this exact same CEO, "was caught trading exotic derivatives in London to the tune of hundreds of billions of dollars and ended up losing at least $6.2 billion of depositors’ money." The bank (including Jamie Dimon) also appear to have engaged in a little "open fraud" in an effort to cover up their massive losses; all of which earned JPMorgan Chase a $920 million fine in the fall of 2013. How bad was it? From the article:

"Senator Carl Levin, who chaired the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations at the time, said JPMorgan Chase “piled on risk, hid losses, disregarded risk limits, manipulated risk models, dodged oversight, and misinformed the public. (Is that really a bank you want involved in $2.2 trillion of stock derivatives, 69 percent of which are shrouded in darkness?)”   

Well isn't that just lovely? In answer to the author's above question, no that is almost certainly not the type of trading you want the largest federally insured bank in America conducting; especially in light of their objectively criminal history and the laughably permissible regulatory environment Wall Street is operating in under the Trump administration.

Naturally, this terrifying story gets even worse the further you dig:

"Now that Wall Street banks have a deregulatory regime in the White House, it is only natural to wonder if the cowboys are back in charge of trading at JPMorgan Chase. On that point, the OCC reports that at the height of the financial crisis in the fourth quarter of 2008, equity derivative contracts held by commercial banks totaled just $737 billion, or just 22 percent of the $3.374 trillion today, of which JPMorgan controls two-thirds." 

Excellent, so that means the problem is almost certainly more than big enough to sink the entire global economy and absolutely nobody in a position to do anything about it gives a flying f*ck! Don't run away just yet my friends, because the good times just keep on rolling here:

"Adding to the concerns of what’s going on at JPMorgan Chase, is the question as to why the bank isn’t using the multitude of exchange-traded products available to take positions in the stock market, like the popular and liquid futures contract on the Standard and Poor’s 500 index, and why it isn’t making the trades in its investment bank instead of its Federally-insured commercial bank.

The troublesome answer is likely contained in this article at Risk.net which names JPMorgan the “equity derivatives house of the year.” If you read the article to the end, it becomes clear that JPMorgan Chase is customizing (known as “bespoke” contracts) equity derivatives in large amounts and with highly complex terms."

So you caught that right? The largest, most corrupt and "too big to fail" bank in America is almost certainly running massive, volatile, absurdly complex and largely unsupervised "prop bets" on the stock market through its federally insured depository arm, precisely because they're mindbogglingly risky investments. If the bank's "bespoke" wagers pay then the profits go to Jamie Dimon's investors; if on the other hand they bust, then potentially everyone on the planet loses - that is, everyone except the folks at JPMorgan Chase who custom built this financial time bomb in the first place.

Of course, the really f*cked up part about all of this is the fact that playing Russian roulette with the global economy because it'll be pensioners and the public treasury that eats the bullet if you lose, probably isn't illegal - and if it is illegal, you can be damn sure nobody is ever going to jail for it regardless.

Then again maybe I'm wrong; maybe the real icing on this whole sh*tcake is the fact that the US corporate media apparently doesn't consider this stupefyingly awful news even worthy of a blog post. I guess when it comes to screwing over the proles for fun and profit, corporate America really is as "thick as thieves."


- Nina Illingworth



Independent writer, critic and analyst with a left focus.

You can find my work at ninaillingworth.com, Can’t You Read, Media Madness and my Patreon Blog.

Updates available on Twitter and Facebook.

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Frontrunning with Extra Vigorish: Week 3 NFL Picks


Editor’s note: well, we’re late again; despite giving myself two whole extra days to get this week’s picks column ready — here I am on Saturday afternoon typing away furiously with the clock ticking and the tiny fascist editor inside my head screaming bloody murder.

Unfortunately, this once again means no introductory story but I have been assured by numerous readers that roughly four thousand words worth of humors NFL picks are good enough for the weeks where that’s all I have time for. I thank you for your patience and I’d like to inform concerned readers that my cat Ginger has actually turned a few small corners and miraculously is in notably better shape than when I first brought her up here on this website. We’re not out of the woods yet, but we have a vet appointment on Monday and it seems like all the extra love and attention might’ve worked a minor miracle for my beloved kitty; it’s been a good week in my family and truthfully my difficulty finishing this column was more about a nagging case of writer’s block than anything else.

At this point, I’ll refrain from making any promises about the return of the Gambler and our intro stories; on weeks where I have time and inspiration I’ll write one, on weeks where I don’t, I’ll focus on making a few more picks to compensate — despite all outward appearances, I’ve learned that writing fiction under a deadline is actually quite hard sometimes.

As always picks are made against the Pinnacle line at the time I write the column, our choice to win is listed first and home teams are printed in all caps. Please be reminded this website is not responsible in any way if you take gambling advice from a deranged madwoman who still hasn’t managed to break .500 on a week this season; at this point we’re subsidizing Vegas with “the vig” each week — or we would be, if we were actually gambling officer.

PATRIOTS (-1) over Texans:

During last week’s column, I blithely suggested that “New England could promise to hold a bloody punt, pass and kick contest at halftime to see who gets to play quarterback for the rest of the game and I’d still be picking them” — which as it turns out, is precisely what happened last Sunday when the Patriot’s latest attempt at cloning Tom Brady was slammed hard into the dirt and Jimmy “I’m still looking this shit up every time I have to spell it” Garoppolo went down with a fucked up shoulder.

Reports indicate that Garoppolo is technically dressing for this game as the backup QB but that’s pretty much entirely because Bill Belichick is a stone cold mutherfucker with a long, long memory and Jimmy is hoping to someday succeed Tom Brady in New England; he absolutely cannot fucking play after folding his goddamn throwing wing up like that just four days ago and everyone (including the Texans) knows it. Dutifully, I have spent parts of the past three days watching all nine (yes, nine) passes something or someone called Jacoby Brissett threw against Miami last week on loop like every other deranged gambling addict in the country and I can say with some certainty that Brissett is basically terrible; at least for the moment.

This is a problem, because the Patriots are facing off against a devastating pass rush from a Texans front seven that can be best described as a “pack of psycho, fucked-up butchers” who just happen to play football; Brissett’s family should probably consider taking out a goddamn life insurance policy under an assumed name at this point because the rookie is going to get hit hard and often by a defense that knows New England doesn’t have another “real” quarterback available for this game. Don’t expect the run game to help out much either; the Texans defense is vulnerable to speed when they over-pursue but they eat lard-ass power backs like Legarrette Blount for fucking breakfast on the regular — New England is going to have to win this game in the air, with a rookie 3rd-round QB throwing at least twenty-five passes.

The Texans have prepared all summer for this game; they dropped $72M on a goddamn Ent who plays quarterback just because he beat the Patriots in Denver last year, they’ve known for months they wouldn’t have to face Tom Brady and just about everyone on the fucking planet is assuming they’ll get the job done against a team that might seriously be starting Julian Edelman at QB by the fourth quarter.

This is of course, exactly why the Patriots are going to win this game outright on Thursday Night Football after Bill Belichick drags their asses to a “ho-hum” victory through a combination of dark magic, the ritual sacrifice of a practice squad punter and sheer, unbridled assholery.

I told you folks last week, I’m done losing money because I forgot about Dre.

DOLPHINS (+10) over Browns:

Look, I really don’t want to spend a lot of time talking about this game because objectively, it’s going to be a goddamn crime against football and if you’re the type of person who can actually sit through a contest this fucking terrible from start to completion — you’ve got way damn bigger problems than a ten point Dolphins spread.

I’d merely like to point out that this game represents a reasoned violation of one of our “mostly immutable” rules of wagering; Miami has in no way shape or goddamn form proven that they’re capable of covering a ten point spread and under normal circumstances I’d slam Cleveland so hard here, I’d end up in traction — which is basically where most of the Browns best players are right now and therein lies the problem.

Over the past two seasons we’ve been rewarded by picking Cleveland to cover when shockingly competent Browns QB Josh McCown is playing but he apparently snapped his collarbone like a deep-fried chicken wing (again) last week and the Browns are starting a rookie QB (Cody Kessler) that even management admits is nowhere near ready to play at the bloody NFL level. The Browns are now so desperate at the most important position in football that they actually signed the quarterback-like substance and accomplished clipboard warrior Charlie fucking Whitehurst to back up Kessler; despite the former having proven conclusively over his eleven year career that having Chuck Whitehurst at quarterback is pretty much exactly the same goddamn thing as having no quarterback at all.

The Dolphins don’t really deserve our faith this Sunday, but I’m not even sure the Browns can actually score on offense at this point and Cleveland is already staring at a long, painful year of absolutely fucking brutal tanking; in week three of the 2016 season.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Deadpan Wonderland: Week 2 NFL Picks


Editor’s note: unfortunately, a minor medical emergency in my household last evening threw me off schedule and as a result, I wasn’t able to finish this week’s NFL picks article until late Thursday evening; just before the Jets-Bills game started. Sadly, I was also unable to write a proper introduction for this week’s column as well and I’m not entirely sure this is going to be the funniest picks article I’ve ever written – for reasons I’ll explain below

As those of you who read this website are no doubt already aware, I am currently caring for my best friend in the entire world; who just happens to be a sick, nearly twenty year old cat who means more to me than air. She’s currently doing alright, but the prognosis isn’t good and I’m just trying to spend as much quality time with her as I can, while I can; if you understand my meaning. At some point yesterday, the stress apparently just became a little too much for me and I passed out, somewhat involuntarily and for about ten hours.

I’m awake and feeling markedly better now, but the part of me that writes funny jokes appears to be just beyond my ability to summon at the moment. In light of this, I’ve written up this week’s picks with a bit of a heavy heart and ask that you excuse me if it all comes off just a little bit too much like a normal sports article; I’m doing the best I can with the tools I’ve got to work with right now.  Assuming there are no other setbacks in the immediate future, the adventures of “the Gambler” and our regular NFL picks column should return next Wednesday at the normal time and normal length – thank you in advance for your understanding.


* * * * *
Jets (-1) over BILLS:

Week two opens with the accursed, game-like substance known as Thursday Night Football in an AFC East divisional match-up that features two teams who are not the Patriots and are therefore completely irrelevant to anyone outside of their own, immediate families. This game is also the NFL’s first “Color Rush” contest of the 2016 Season, which means at least one squad will be wearing hideous, gimmick uniforms designed expressly for the purpose of selling fans more useless shit; in last year’s Jets/Bills “Color Rush” game the teams wore monochrome red & green uniforms that made it impossible for colorblind people to watch the game on TV – which considering the general quality of your average AFC East divisional match-up, may have been a mercy.

After a frustrating one point loss to Bengals last week, Jets fans have to come away from week one with one utterly terrifying question: is the warden of Revis Island done as a shutdown corner in the NFL or is AJ Green just that fucking good that he can embarrass Darrelle Revis all goddamn afternoon like that? Saying that Revis was repeatedly burnt like fucking toast in his match-up with Green last week would be a mild understatement and while it’s true that Revis was dueling with one of the top WR in the NFL all day; that’s not supposed to be a problem for a corner of number twenty-four’s stature. Revis is a little banged-up at the moment but if he’s truly done as an elite corner, then the possibility of an elite Jet’s defense is probably done with him – although they should remain very good and welcome back noted child-care specialist Sheldon Richardson to an already savage defensive line this game.

Virtually everyone in sports media seems to be picking the Bills in this match-up based on some bizarre trust in “Rex Ryan voodoo against his old team” theories and because the Bills have won six out of the last seven contests between the two; which is a fine enough idea unless you saw how incredibly fucking putrid the Bill’s offense was last week against the Ravens. Buffalo got absolutely goddamn mauled up front by a Raven’s front seven that isn’t anywhere near as good as the Jets are; causing last-season’s breakout Bills QB Tyrod Taylor to look so confused and utterly ordinary that Buffalo’s season might legitimately be in jeopardy already after one fucking game. Star WR/dreadlocked warrior-king Sammy Watkins is still limping around on a fucked up foot that is at this point, beginning to call into question whether allowing one of the most gifted receivers of his generation to continually play on the harrowing, crappy turf at New Era Field represents a legitimate crime against humanity. He’s questionable for the game but if past history has taught us anything it’s that Watkins will play even on a smashed-up drumstick b/c the rest of the Bill’s offense is so fucking terrible, even half of Sammy Watkins represents a massive improvement.

When in doubt, always take the team capable of keeping it’s QB alive for four quarters; right now, there’s no evidence the Bills can do that against a NY Jet’s front seven that’s so aggressively violent they should be hooking up with Mobb Deep for a reunion tour.

Read the rest of the article today on ninaillingworth.com...

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Stalag 2016: Week 1 NFL Picks



“Good god man, of fucking course not – you know full damn well that my idea of fantasy football is fifteen minutes alone in a locked, windowless room with the Ford Family and a goddamn chainsaw” I replied, slamming the car door shut and moving towards the store.

“And just what in the name of fucking christ is a harambe by the way?”

* * * * *
Panthers (-3) over BRONCOS:
Look, let’s just get one goddamn thing absolutely fucking clear before we talk about this game; Thursday Night Football is an abomination against all that is right, pure and true in this exulted national pastime that also happens to slowly turn grown men’s brains into a scarred mass of dysfunctional, bleeding hamburger. The games are notoriously lousy, having to start the NFL schedule in the middle of the week plays absolute hell with bookies and the only reason the league insists on trotting out an inferior product every Thursday night is because advertisers are preternaturally attracted to prime-time, pro football; no matter how shitty the games are.

With all of that having been noted however, this match-up is probably about as good as it gets on Thursday Night Football as it features a rematch of last year’s Superbowl and arguably the best defense in each respective conference. The Broncos won that game 24-10 but unfortunately for them, they’re replacing a future Hall of Famer at the most important position in professional football with a guy who may well be asking you if you want fries with your Big Mac in three years.

Frankly, I have no fucking idea how good Trevor Siemian is, you have no fucking idea how good Trevor Siemian is – hell, Trevor’s own damn mother probably has no fucking idea how good he is either. What I do know is that the last time a seventh round draft pick with a grand fucking total of one season and one snap under his belt successfully replaced a two-time Superbowl winning, Hall of Fame quarterback was – well, probably fucking never; I’m certainly not looking that shit up. Both teams have lost high performance, mutant freak athletes on the defensive side of the ball this offseason but only one of these squads has a 6’5, 230lb quarterback who single-handedly declared America “beyond” racism this summer in an interview with GQ magazine. Thanks Cam; that should totally solve everything buddy.

For those of you keeping score at home – this week’s official “White America Cam Newton Approval Rating” is “Doug Williams” with a side of “not Colin Kaepernick.”

Read the rest of the article here on ninaillingworth.com...

- Nina Illingworth