Editor's Note: well, I haven't exactly been good about keeping this site updated even though ninaillingworth.com has had many posts since I last put a teaser up here. I'm trying harder to make better use of my limited advertising resources in 2017 however - so I'm back; as before these will not be complete posts but rather excerpts and links back to my main site.
Hello and Happy New Year! As regular readers know, one of the most popular features here on ninaillingworth.com is our constantly expanding Wall of Shame;
a humorous, no holds barred look at the simpering pack of mendacious
liars, shills and sycophants that pass for the American free press in
what is now clearly, one of the most corrupt times in history. Over the past few months of compiling tweets and writing updates;
I’ve often been asked why I didn’t include numerous, objectively
hilarious tweets by accomplished Wall of Shame “honorees” and in most
cases, it’s simply because the tweet was published after I’d already
written-up a given entry – with so many “worthy” but unrecognized nominees
still roaming the wilds of Twitter; it’s awful hard to justify going
back to get “better” bad tweets from people we’ve already enshrined.
In light of the above, and in no small way influenced by the
consumption of copious quantities of alcohol; I thought it might be fun
to compile a mass Wall of Shame update composed of one stunningly obtuse
or dishonest tweet from each of our current, inducted Wall of Shamers –
a sort of “where are these dipshits now” shout out to celebrate the New
Year by counting coup on craven, chunder-headed collaborators; I even
included some bonus links and an official, ninaillingworth.com suggested
New Year’s resolution for each honoree:
Check out the Tweets and read Nina's proposed New Year's Resolutions on ninaillingworth.com...
Editor’s note: after a couple days off to hang out with my kitty
and recharge my batteries, we’re back with another edition of our
Info-Meme of the Week; a (semi) new weekly feature where we a look at
one issue or scandal largely being misreported in the media in the form
of a single, easy-to-share meme that’s backed up by a few verifiable
sources underneath the photo. No rants, speeches or explanations
required – just the facts, in one quick snapshot you can show
revisionist historian media personalities to force them to stop
repeating obvious deceptions.
This week’s Info-Meme takes a look at a chilling truth about
former President and potential “Economy Czar” in a likely Hillary
Clinton administration, Bill Clinton; who’s long history of sexual
conquests have recently made the news as part of the 2016 election
campaign. What is not making nearly enough headlines however is that
philandering aside, it is in fact almost statistically impossible (based
on the sheer number of accusations levied) that Bill Clinton is not an
actual mutherfucking rapist.
Please note: you can find sources for all the information
presented in this meme below and if you’re having trouble reading the
image, left click on it and select “view image” to pop out a larger
version – let’s examine the horrifying, but rarely discussed history of
sexual assault allegations against Bill Clinton:
Editor’s Note: warning; this is going to be a long, rambling
discussion and at the end of it, you may well be inclined to question my
sanity; I’m not sure I’ve ever written a “thinkpiece” before and I’m
only doing so now because of the tremendous weight on my conscience not discussing these issues has created.
I have never had any desire to be perceived as any sort of “pinko
Alex Jones” style conspiracy theorist and I have no intention of doing
so today; this article will be sourced quite heavily and I strongly
encourage you to at least skim the links I’ve provided to back up what
will no doubt appear to preposterous claims if you haven’t been
following the news intently for several years.
This is new ground for me and frankly, I’m not really sure where
the editor’s note ends and the article begins this time – so I ask that
you bear with me while I try to get a handle on just what it is we’re
doing here.
If the truth be known, I’ve avoided these topics for a number of
reasons that are probably still valid today; not the least of which is
that some parts of the story aren’t really mine to tell. This is in part
a discussion about economics and I am not an economist; it’s also in part a discussion about systemic racism that signals who in our society the police are allowed to abuse for profit (and why) – as a white (albeit post-op trans) woman living abroad; there’s a legitimate question in my mind whether what I have to say on this subject would be, or even should be taken seriously.
Finally, I’ve avoided these discussions because quite frankly they
are just so damn big and so damn heavy, it is utterly terrifying to
imagine even starting such a conversation. A whole bunch of the things I
want to say to you guys are going to sound too evil to even contemplate
believing if you haven’t done the research; even discussing what it all
means involves, by necessity, projecting into our collective future.
I’m a smart girl, I can make educated guesses but I’m by no means exaggerating even slightly when I say we live in *the* most corrupt time in our nation’s (if not global) history and the problems we’re about to face simply have no direct historical reference; although there are similarities that we can and will examine over time.
The truth is, I don’t rightly know where to start and the sheer size
of what we’re talking about probably means I’ll never finish; but I do
know that I can no longer remain silent as the world around me turns into a real time, live-action production of V for Vendetta
right in front of my eyes. Therefore, because I don’t even know where
the beginning of this discussion lies, I’ll start with a very simple
question that we can hopefully build some future discussions on – “considering
the obvious political consequences and blatant social negatives; why
would anyone (even corrupt government officials and their greedy
corporate masters) want to create and empower a police state in the
western world?”
Editor’s Note: after a long and frustrating weekend, we’re back on the 2016 Election beat this morning with another edition of our Info-Meme of the Week; a (semi) new weekly feature where we a look at one issue or scandal largely being misreported in the media in the form of a single, easy-to-share meme that’s backed up by a few verifiable sources underneath the photo. No rants, speeches or explanations required — just the facts, in one quick snapshot you can show your barely-literate roommates to force them to stop repeating mainstream media deceptions
.
This week’s Info-Meme is a special look at the rogue’s gallery of neocon think-tank weasels, conservative warmonger douchebags and unrepentant, criminal human rights violators that have officially endorsed Hillary Clinton in the 2016 Presidential Election so far; please be mindful that this list is by no means complete, you can find sources for all the information presented in this meme below and if you’re having trouble reading the image, left click on it and select “view image” to pop out a larger version — let’s meme:
Editor’s note: well, we’re late again; despite giving myself two whole extra days to get this week’s picks column ready — here I am on Saturday afternoon typing away furiously with the clock ticking and the tiny fascist editor inside my head screaming bloody murder.
Unfortunately, this once again means no introductory story but I have been assured by numerous readers that roughly four thousand words worth of humors NFL picks are good enough for the weeks where that’s all I have time for. I thank you for your patience and I’d like to inform concerned readers that my cat Ginger has actually turned a few small corners and miraculously is in notably better shape than when I first brought her up here on this website. We’re not out of the woods yet, but we have a vet appointment on Monday and it seems like all the extra love and attention might’ve worked a minor miracle for my beloved kitty; it’s been a good week in my family and truthfully my difficulty finishing this column was more about a nagging case of writer’s block than anything else.
At this point, I’ll refrain from making any promises about the return of the Gambler and our intro stories; on weeks where I have time and inspiration I’ll write one, on weeks where I don’t, I’ll focus on making a few more picks to compensate — despite all outward appearances, I’ve learned that writing fiction under a deadline is actually quite hard sometimes.
As always picks are made against the Pinnacle line at the time I write the column, our choice to win is listed first and home teams are printed in all caps. Please be reminded this website is not responsible in any way if you take gambling advice from a deranged madwoman who still hasn’t managed to break .500 on a week this season; at this point we’re subsidizing Vegas with “the vig” each week — or we would be, if we were actually gambling officer.
PATRIOTS (-1) over Texans:
During last week’s column, I blithely suggested that “New England could promise to hold a bloody punt, pass and kick contest at halftime to see who gets to play quarterback for the rest of the game and I’d still be picking them” — which as it turns out, is precisely what happened last Sunday when the Patriot’s latest attempt at cloning Tom Brady was slammed hard into the dirt and Jimmy “I’m still looking this shit up every time I have to spell it” Garoppolo went down with a fucked up shoulder.
Reports indicate that Garoppolo is technically dressing for this game as the backup QB but that’s pretty much entirely because Bill Belichick is a stone cold mutherfucker with a long, long memory and Jimmy is hoping to someday succeed Tom Brady in New England; he absolutely cannot fucking play after folding his goddamn throwing wing up like that just four days ago and everyone (including the Texans) knows it. Dutifully, I have spent parts of the past three days watching all nine (yes, nine) passes something or someone called Jacoby Brissett threw against Miami last week on loop like every other deranged gambling addict in the country and I can say with some certainty that Brissett is basically terrible; at least for the moment.
This is a problem, because the Patriots are facing off against a devastating pass rush from a Texans front seven that can be best described as a “pack of psycho, fucked-up butchers” who just happen to play football; Brissett’s family should probably consider taking out a goddamn life insurance policy under an assumed name at this point because the rookie is going to get hit hard and often by a defense that knows New England doesn’t have another “real” quarterback available for this game. Don’t expect the run game to help out much either; the Texans defense is vulnerable to speed when they over-pursue but they eat lard-ass power backs like Legarrette Blount for fucking breakfast on the regular — New England is going to have to win this game in the air, with a rookie 3rd-round QB throwing at least twenty-five passes.
The Texans have prepared all summer for this game; they dropped $72M on a goddamn Ent who plays quarterback just because he beat the Patriots in Denver last year, they’ve known for months they wouldn’t have to face Tom Brady and just about everyone on the fucking planet is assuming they’ll get the job done against a team that might seriously be starting Julian Edelman at QB by the fourth quarter.
This is of course, exactly why the Patriots are going to win this game outright on Thursday Night Football after Bill Belichick drags their asses to a “ho-hum” victory through a combination of dark magic, the ritual sacrifice of a practice squad punter and sheer, unbridled assholery.
I told you folks last week, I’m done losing money because I forgot about Dre.
DOLPHINS (+10) over Browns:
Look, I really don’t want to spend a lot of time talking about this game because objectively, it’s going to be a goddamn crime against football and if you’re the type of person who can actually sit through a contest this fucking terrible from start to completion — you’ve got way damn bigger problems than a ten point Dolphins spread.
I’d merely like to point out that this game represents a reasoned violation of one of our “mostly immutable” rules of wagering; Miami has in no way shape or goddamn form proven that they’re capable of covering a ten point spread and under normal circumstances I’d slam Cleveland so hard here, I’d end up in traction — which is basically where most of the Browns best players are right now and therein lies the problem.
Over the past two seasons we’ve been rewarded by picking Cleveland to cover when shockingly competent Browns QB Josh McCown is playing but he apparently snapped his collarbone like a deep-fried chicken wing (again) last week and the Browns are starting a rookie QB (Cody Kessler) that even management admits is nowhere near ready to play at the bloody NFL level. The Browns are now so desperate at the most important position in football that they actually signed the quarterback-like substance and accomplished clipboard warrior Charlie fucking Whitehurst to back up Kessler; despite the former having proven conclusively over his eleven year career that having Chuck Whitehurst at quarterback is pretty much exactly the same goddamn thing as having no quarterback at all.
The Dolphins don’t really deserve our faith this Sunday, but I’m not even sure the Browns can actually score on offense at this point and Cleveland is already staring at a long, painful year of absolutely fucking brutal tanking; in week three of the 2016 season.
Editor’s note: well, we’re finally here – after several months and literally dozens of requests, the “illustrious” Jonathan Capehart has finally joined our other “distinguished’ honorees on the Wall of Shame.
Initially, I’d resisted adding Capehart to the wall because while
there is no question whatsoever that he’s an insipid, partisan shill
who openly spreads disinformation for the Democratic Party at virtually
every possible opportunity; his method of doing so is so staggeringly
banal, robotic and soulless to the point of being literally “un-funny.”
To paraphrase a much better writer than myself, Jonathan Capehart is how
“the whole hep world would use Twitter if the fascists on Madison
Avenue ever completely won the war for our hearts and minds;” the guy is
a walking, talking, bullshiting infomercial for the Democratic Party –
certainly worthy of scorn, but not really “Wall of Shame” material in
the classical sense.
Imaging my surprise then when I typed Jonathan’s name up in the ol’ Google search machine and the magic of the internet spit back clear evidence that Capehart had spent the better part of February falsely smearing Bernie Sanders for the Democratic Party and then actually fucking married into it when he tied the knot with longtime boyfriend Nick Schmit
(Assistant Chief of Protocol at the State Department) in May. It would
seem that there’s a calculating political operative somewhere behind
Capehart’s dull, vacant eyes; which is a problem when you’re supposed to
be a fucking journalist and you write for something called the
“PostPartisan Blog.”
Of course, the problem of Capehart’s insipid and quite frankly
boring, advertisement quality tweets still remains, but I’ve tried to
address this by presenting a larger number of Jonathan’s tweets to
highlight the sheer volume of mindlessly stupid shilling for Hillary
Clinton and the Democratic Party that he engages in:
Editor’s note: typically when I write a Take Down piece for this website, it will revolve around a largely unknown, but laughably mendacious neoliberal Twitter user in the middle of some deplorably disingenuous meltdown or tirade of some kind; the highest profile “honoree” to show up in these take downs was author and noted Twitter meltdown artist Sady Doyle – and even then, only because she spent a half hour trying to harass me before publicly denying she’d been using bigoted attacks.
Today however, we’re going to make an exception on behalf of recently-enshrined but long-reviled Wall of Shamer,
Joy-Ann Reid; who spent the better part of Friday, September 9th
unsuccessfully trying to pass off the plot of a rejected Tom Clancy
novel as factual news on her Twitter feed.
As a result of Reid’s high profile role in the American news media and
the disturbing propagation of what can only be called cold war era
scaremongering in the modern, neoliberal media – this piece is really as
much an examination of false media narratives as it is a savage indictment of Reid’s blatant dishonesty and arrogance.
First, we’ll talk a little bit about Reid’s meltdown, then we’ll
take a look at how it fits into the larger, anti-Russian media narrative
being sold to the American people on the regular these days.
As always please be reminded that although you should have no
trouble understanding what I’m saying without clicking on the links I’ve
provided throughout the article; your comprehension and enjoyment of
the piece will almost certainly be improved by at least skimming the
source material I’ve limked to. Please don’t yell at me about “sources”
on social media if you can’t be bothered to click the links.
Hot to Trot-sky: Reid’s McCarthy Redux Moment
Now, before we get started I would like to
take a moment to point out that Joy-Ann Reid is a rising star in the
world of political television media who also happens to be a vocal,
successful and highly-educated (more on this later) African American
woman. This, undeniably makes her a lightning-rod of ignorant, bigoted criticism from the disturbingly large segment of “white America” that believes ending slavery was a bad thing; as well as men (and Anne Coulter) who feel awarding women the right to vote has directly lead to the decline of the American family.
Please allow me to assure you that I’m not
here to discuss anything “those people” would find interesting. I’m not
going to tell you that Joy-Ann is too loud, too female, too black or too
aggressive to be on network television and if the truth be told; I
really want to like Reid in my heart because the person she
pretends to be when she’s not shoveling corporatist, pro-Democratic
Party bullshit would be an important voice in our media.
Unfortunately, this is impossible because
Joy-Ann Reid is a lying, embarrassingly partisan, centrist propagandist
who is also either mindbogglingly fucking stupid or, more likely,
believes that you are. Please take a moment to examine the Twitter
screenshots I’ve compiled bellow and as you do so; keep in mind that all
of these tweets come from a single, twenty-four hour period on Reid’s
Twitter feed. As always I have not edited these tweets in any way,
although they may appear slightly out of order for the purposes of
proper presentation – I left the time stamps on most of them so you can
easily reconstruct the chronological order of Joy-Ann’s tweets on your
own if that matters to you for some reason:
Editor’s Note: despite the world having gone objectively crazy in
the past few days (again) I’ve been battling to catch up on what is now
becoming a staggering backlog of topics in a variety of forms. I can’t
exactly say I’m winning, but progress is being made; albeit slowly and
at the cost of great energy. In the meantime, I’ve decided to take a
break and drop today’s Info Meme of the Week a little earlier than I
expected to.
What’s the “Info meme of the Week?” Each week, we take a look at
one issue or scandal largely being misreported in the media in the form
of a single, easy-to-share meme that’s backed up by a few verifiable
sources underneath the photo. No fuss, no pontificating pinko blogger
telling you what this might all mean – just the facts, in one quick
snapshot you can show your barely-literate roommates to force them to
stop repeating mainstream media deceptions.
Today’s IMotW is a two-for-one special including one older meme
and one newer meme designed to tell a connected story; we’ve got
longtime intelligence trading, rumor-mongering Clinton “ghoul” Sid
Blumenthal in our sights as dirt from eight years ago finally spills out
and potentially answers an old question – “why did Obama absolutely
refuse to let Sid Blumenthal work in Clinton’s State Department?”
Editor’s note: unfortunately, a minor medical emergency in my
household last evening threw me off schedule and as a result, I wasn’t
able to finish this week’s NFL picks article until late Thursday
evening; just before the Jets-Bills game started. Sadly, I was also
unable to write a proper introduction for this week’s column as well and
I’m not entirely sure this is going to be the funniest picks article
I’ve ever written – for reasons I’ll explain below
As those of you who read this website are no doubt already aware,
I am currently caring for my best friend in the entire world; who just
happens to be a sick, nearly twenty year old cat who means more to me
than air. She’s currently doing alright, but the prognosis isn’t good
and I’m just trying to spend as much quality time with her as I can,
while I can; if you understand my meaning. At some point yesterday, the
stress apparently just became a little too much for me and I passed out,
somewhat involuntarily and for about ten hours.
I’m awake and feeling markedly better now, but the part of me
that writes funny jokes appears to be just beyond my ability to summon
at the moment. In light of this, I’ve written up this week’s picks with a
bit of a heavy heart and ask that you excuse me if it all comes off
just a little bit too much like a normal sports article; I’m doing the
best I can with the tools I’ve got to work with right now. Assuming
there are no other setbacks in the immediate future, the adventures of
“the Gambler” and our regular NFL picks column should return next
Wednesday at the normal time and normal length – thank you in advance
for your understanding.
* * * * *
Jets (-1) over BILLS:
Week two opens with the accursed, game-like
substance known as Thursday Night Football in an AFC East divisional
match-up that features two teams who are not the Patriots and are
therefore completely irrelevant to anyone outside of their own,
immediate families. This game is also the NFL’s first “Color Rush”
contest of the 2016 Season, which means at least one squad
will be wearing hideous, gimmick uniforms designed expressly for the
purpose of selling fans more useless shit; in last year’s Jets/Bills
“Color Rush” game the teams wore monochrome red & green uniforms
that made it impossible for colorblind people
to watch the game on TV – which considering the general quality of your
average AFC East divisional match-up, may have been a mercy.
After a frustrating one point loss to
Bengals last week, Jets fans have to come away from week one with one
utterly terrifying question: is the warden of Revis Island done as a
shutdown corner in the NFL or is AJ Green just that fucking good that he
can embarrass Darrelle Revis all goddamn afternoon like that? Saying
that Revis was repeatedly burnt like fucking toast in his match-up with
Green last week would be a mild understatement and while it’s true that
Revis was dueling with one of the top WR in the NFL all day; that’s not
supposed to be a problem for a corner of number twenty-four’s stature.
Revis is a little banged-up at the moment but if he’s truly done as an
elite corner, then the possibility of an elite Jet’s defense is probably
done with him – although they should remain very good and welcome back noted child-care specialist Sheldon Richardson to an already savage defensive line this game.
Virtually everyone in sports media seems to
be picking the Bills in this match-up based on some bizarre trust in
“Rex Ryan voodoo against his old team” theories and because the Bills
have won six out of the last seven contests between the two; which is a
fine enough idea unless you saw how incredibly fucking putrid the Bill’s
offense was last week against the Ravens. Buffalo got absolutely
goddamn mauled up front by a Raven’s front seven that isn’t anywhere
near as good as the Jets are; causing last-season’s breakout Bills QB
Tyrod Taylor to look so confused and utterly ordinary that Buffalo’s
season might legitimately be in jeopardy already after one fucking game.
Star WR/dreadlocked warrior-king Sammy Watkins is still limping around
on a fucked up foot that is at this point, beginning to call into
question whether allowing one of the most gifted receivers of his
generation to continually play on the harrowing, crappy turf at New Era
Field represents a legitimate crime against humanity. He’s questionable
for the game but if past history has taught us anything it’s that
Watkins will play even on a smashed-up drumstick b/c the rest of the
Bill’s offense is so fucking terrible, even half of Sammy Watkins
represents a massive improvement.
When in doubt, always take the team capable
of keeping it’s QB alive for four quarters; right now, there’s no
evidence the Bills can do that against a NY Jet’s front seven that’s so
aggressively violent they should be hooking up with Mobb Deep for a
reunion tour.
Editor’s note: naturally, it’s always at the precise moment you
start to fall behind a little bit that the news insists of feeding you
more “have to discuss” stories one after another. I am currently hard at
work on a piece about Joy-Ann Reid and the new McCarthyism; as well as a
discussion of protest in America as it relates to Colin Kaepernick and
the Standing Rock anti-pipeline protests. Unfortunately, the shocking
events at yesterday’s 9/11 memorial in NYC and the flagrant, unbearably
offensive behavior of the pro-Clinton, neoliberal media at large in
response to those events are going to force me to have this discussion
here and now before I can get back to writing about those other things.
This is primarily going to be an op-ed and since I really don’t
want to waste more time than necessary on this, I’ll be scattering my
sources throughout the article with a little less set up than normal;
please, I’m begging you – don’t angrily ask me for “sources” if you’re
not going to click on the links in this article that provide them.
First of all, let me start off by confessing that until this precise
moment I have largely ignored the Hillary Clinton “Health Scandal” for
two reasons that perhaps in retrospect haven’t worked out all that well
for me:
When the story first broke, it was primarily championed by the absolutely dregs of Right Wing Nutjob media; places like the Drudge Report and journalists who’s methods I personally consider less than reputable,
to put it politely. Furthermore the news pretty much revolved around
people who’d never examined Hillary Clinton in a clinical setting
commenting on news clips and blown up still frames that objectively
didn’t prove a whole lot and in some cases were obvious smear jobs.
Ethical doctors are not prone to diagnosing patients they’ve never met (from eighteen seconds of Youtube footage) and distinguished luminaries such as Doctor Drew aside; the vast majority of the people discussing the issue were simply not very credible.
The simple truth is, I didn’t think it would matter in the goddamn
slightest. Despite years and years of campaign rhetoric about the
importance of energy and vigor in a President; it doesn’t matter one
iota to a candidate’s qualifications for the job if he or she is too ill
to complete a season of American Ninja Warrior. Numerous past Presidents have suffered from significant, even serious physical ailments and while these illnesses were invariably the subject of great secrecy and speculation
– as long as the politician in question didn’t actually fucking die,
the American public generally seems comfortable putting on it’s blinders
and ignoring a President’s physical (and even mental) infirmities.
Late yesterday morning (and only after watching multiple video clips
that I will share below) I came to the sudden and yes, shocking
realization that I’d been as they say in the business “completely
fucking wrong” about both the severity and potential importance of the
Hillary Clinton heath scandal. Of course, my first clue probably should have been when major media outlets began firing employees for merely discussing Clinton’s health “issues” in a manner that in no way, shape or form appeared to be ethically “out of bounds” by any objective measure of the things in the media that do get published without anyone being fired.
Please understand that I use the expression “health scandal” both
because I’m not particularly qualified to diagnose exactly what is
wrong with Clinton, but also because even in the seemingly unlikely
event that Clinton’s ailment really is pneumonia; the lies, attacks and
distortions used by both the Clinton campaign and surrogates/supporters
in pro-Clinton media do now represent a “scandal” in their own right.
Let’s take a look at a rough timeline of how this whole thing shook out
first and afterwards, I’ll explain why I suspect Hillary is still lying about her health and why it really doesn’t matter anyway because the damage has already been done.
